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Friday, July 08, 2005

The Vice Guide to getting beaten up

Dont be a victim. If some huge fucking Coke machine of a guy tries to attack you, grab his right arm with the forefinger of your left hand, then twist it behind his back and kick in the back of his knees from behind. If he has a knife, use your elbows as side fists and smash his temples at 45 degrees until his pupils dilate. If he gets you into some kind of a headlock, then sit down on one knee so that hes forced to sit on your lap and then implode his kidneys using the heel of your left palm against your right forearm... blah blah nose bone into his brain yadda yadda yadda. Yeah, right.If a huge fucking Coke machine of a guy tries to attack you, thats it. Youre fucked!

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