Sex scandal rocks Wonka factory
Authorities have stunned the world with lurid reports of a sweeping investigation into a sex scandal involving employees of renowned candy manufacturer Willy Wonka.
An 18-month investigation has resulted in numerous arrests, including the indictments of dozens of Oompa Loompas, the diminutive workers at the factory made famous in a well-known documentary film entitled, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.
"Those Oompa Loompas are anything but cute and cuddly," said Lt. Irving Lügner, lead investigator. "You don’t even want to know what those little perverts have done in that chocolate river."
